Apple of the i

Jerry of the IT space is no more. Woke up to a Dushehra morning and to the news of Steve Jobs’ death. I’m not the kinds who would reach out for a newspaper or a news channel at the start of a day, but these days news follow you from unexpected corners of  the world (considering that the world is flat !).

There are lots who are hooked on to the latest and share the thoughts ‘in their minds’. Most of the thoughts today were to wish him peace, irrespective of the toughness the gentleman exhibited as a leader. A little offbeat, and somewhere I feel more honest and genuine amongst his competitors. His life was a story – personally and professionally. The disowned, the claimant, the claimed, the recluse, the loser and the winner. Don’t know if that’s life or life’s that..

He, the Jerry, who changed the landscape a lot of times and the piped piper who’d been a vanguard of innovation. And ‘it just worked’, invariably. There’s a whole genre of people who would vouch by the power of  the ‘i’ today. I’m a laggard, so you could count me out ! But I admire the mind of the man who could start a whole religion of sorts – the  iPod, iPhone, iOS, iPad, iCloud.. And taking the cue are the Androids, the Symbians, the RIMs, the Palms et al.

Smart devices are a rage. With more and more of the world condensing in small gadgets. There’s a whole world revolving around the idea of ‘Mobile’. From personal to professional - all the space has become ‘virtual’.  I’m definitely in the party, though do take time out to get over the hangover !

There’s a lot that is to come – Jonathan’s Starbucks card and your child’s school perhaps, but let’s just hope that like there are 75 lac colors but we have only 4000 odd English words to express  them (with the help of ‘light’ and ‘dark’) – we don’t restrict ourselves to how virtually enabled we are. There’s a lot more to us !

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* With all due respect to the departed soul, this was something I couldn't resist posting !

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kylesmith/2011/10/12/steve-jobs-was-a-lousy-role-model/

Tonight ..

I drive to home tonight like everyday. It's quite cold and there have been spells of snowfall during the day. It's snowing still as I see the flakes silently settling down on my windshield. The road looks awash with fresh melted water, as the sides are still guarded by white fences. There are a few souls, carrying umbrellas, scurrying down to their homes, as there's a forecast of more in store. The town is covered with a white all over - the sloping roofs of the houses, the trees and almost everything that's not moving. A perfect foil to a night that's pretty dark and silent.The contrast evinced by the silver streetlights, with their rays laden with mist.

I'm mostly home-bound at this time, and the empty roads look inviting for my mind to delve into the secrets they whisper in my ears.My gaze rarely shifts from my cherished friend, whose company I long for, whenever I seek some solace. There's music playing in the stereo - and some familiar tunes do register as my heart pulsates in a rhythm with them. It being cold, my breath is deep and calm. But I can see those eyes again. Like I have been seeing, for so many days now..

The eyes of my subject.

My subject met with an accident. She damaged her right hand some months ago. My internship at the hospital has been entirely based on the clinical procedures to cure her hand. It had been an awful accident, which had almost left her hand useless. After much effort, the doctors could get it in a shape after multiple operations. When I saw her reports the first time, it looked beyond repair. The pain that she went through was heart-rending. In my most secret and sacred moments I prayed that it be amputated - a selfishness of not being able to withstand the misery or maybe the only way that I saw her deliverance..

These had been very difficult prayers, as over a period of time, she was not merely my subject. She was a woman whom I had come know very closely. She had been an individual strong, headstrong and vulnerable.Very attractive in her purity and pristine in her innocence. So full of imagination and freedom, despite her impediments.


I took upon myself to draw her into the criminal idea to go limb-less. She could hate me for life for that. Not that the thought hadn't crossed her mind. But despite the pain, it was a horrendous thought to entertain - she was a well- known painter...

Since childhood she had captured some of the most exquisite frames of life, through her subtle sense of discrimination. To not paint, would render into the death of someone who defined her all this while. An identity-crisis, that would confront her with a stranger she hadn't known.

I hated myself for being so convinced. I spent days looking in her eyes, as she spoke, discovering the uncertainty, the despair, hope and confusion. A deep sense of disbelief as to why she was 'chosen'..We would talk for hours as I would emphasize that there's more she could look at, her beautiful voice to begin with.. etc. etc. With every conversation I would feel a little hopeful, and a little stupid.. and it went on till today..

Her report says, that her nerves are not getting revived. The blood circulation cannot be restored after all the endeavors. That amputation is as close as reality and this at the fag end of my internship, has left me as blank as her own eyes..we have not spoken much for a few days now - like two tired souls, who've given into the insurmountable fact.

My life has not been a dream-run by any stretch of imagination, but this was proving to be a nightmare. For a long time when you know that you're losing something/someone precious by trickles, it hurts and hurts immensely..

I've reached home, the snowfall is a little heavy..I hope I can catch some sleep and a sweet dream too, for a respite !

     

A Bohemian's Blues

Man is the product of his environment. (Masculine is only a generalization here).

In my search for an individuality, environment is what has caught my fancy of late. Re-wording it as culture makes it a huge ocean in which I rest for a while as it flows through as thoughts that were heard and resonated.

Culture more in behavioral and literary terms has been moulding generations of humanity across geographies. Like chunks of rocks being turned into ordered and dimensional bricks while constructing great pieces of architecture - it also serves a similar purpose of building a behemoth of a civilization.The awe that these monuments of human perseverance and imagination kindle, even for the mason who had been instrumental in shaping it - is similar to the sentiments experienced by the people of a civilization too..the awe which is inspiring at times and intimidating at others !

On a wider base this word looks all-encompassing, but as it gets broken into silos - every individual seems to be defining some and confining to others. I don't see the generalizations of Protestant and Catholic cultures as they have come to be defined in recent times. Intriguing it is though, that some patterns do lend  our existence as predictable.

90% of world trade happens through the sea-route. And in that sense, most of the countries of the eastern hemisphere have been naturally disadvantaged. With a majority lying huddled together, they are void of passages in between, necessary for the proliferation of material and thought. And these have been interestingly the nations which are known for a Catholic culture - one that lays emphasis on 'self' and it's matters, with bare minimum emphasis on the physicality of being. Leading them to a natural consequence of material inferiority.

The other half - the western or protestant cultures, which are the pioneers of 'individual' thought - are visibly the fairer and better-off cousins. Materialism finds an agreement with them. The number of researches and innovations for lifestyle improvements are vindictive of the fact. On the flip-side, that makes the oriental - a mystique, a birthplace of major religions and a spiritual mecca..
 
As an aside, there are parallels that can be drawn with the human mind too. People governed more by the eastern(feminine/right) brain - dealing with the softer side of a personality, emotions, feelings et al.. and the others with the western(masculine/left) brain - handling the logical, statistical ability of an individual. More or less their dispositions are predictable and so is their material well-being. Men and women with dominant left and right respectively have been understood on similar lines.

Sometimes I am amazed at the extent of amalgamation that an individual undergoes under influences that are mostly beyond his/her control. And to think differently than an accustomed pattern becomes quite an impossibility. In that sense, all of us are prejudiced, beyond our understanding of ourselves.There have been tenets laid down which are meant to be a torchlight, of how things should be done and how the motivations be directed. But what bothers me is whether it's (for the sake of a contrast) the 'American  profit' or the 'Japanese growth' (the two divergent theories) which can deliver us ? Or is it something else that we're looking for, which is neither of them..

In the context of human relationships too, the lines between right and wrong, just and unjust, love and hate are hazy. The contours they define keep varying with time, space and people. And sometimes that renders into hurts that are never intended and pain that is inflicted unknowingly..

If rebirth is a possibility or if I'm the maker of my own destiny - I'm floating cluelessly !


      

It's all gassss..

Now that's been a job for a while for me !

So, Australia considers culling its camel population - around a modest 6000 out of the 1 million - for offsetting the carbon emissions/earning carbon credits by getting rid of the farting/burping animal ! As curious as it gets, on an average, a camel apparently produces methane equivalent of 1 tonne of carbon dioxide every year- making it one of the biggest emitters of the greenhouse gases. And Australia, by some measures, is the highest emitter in the world.

Another interesting fact from the story is that, Camel is not a  native specie of Australia.. It had been brought there to navigate through the sprawling mass of the continent. Its deserts - to be more specific. But the ingenuity of human mind has given more robotic, tireless and comfortable options for travel today. And unfortunately that has made these creatures redundant for human consumption. They are even being considered as a threat to the desert ecology - and this wisdom has dawned after a 100 years, since the camels were first brought there !

I wonder if any mortal cared to know as to why the animal had been emitting so much ? Was it a change for it too ? Had it also been undergoing the pangs of a 'culture shock' that translated into a messy abdomen and would a rehabilitation help ? I could agree on economic terms, that the animal has lost its opportunity cost, but that would be valid if I could survive by eating dollars..!

This could just be a trigger for the many disturbing questions that crowd out my reasoning mind...What the hell is the hullabaloo about sustaining ? And more than that, how are we addressing it.. or dressing it maybe !

Countries emitting more carbon can offset it by buying carbon credits from countries engaged in projects to reduce them and effectively emitting less. But climates are locale specific. No doubt Westerly winds, Trade winds etc. will continue to revolve around the globe and there will be climate change - but how would it ever happen that the Amazon forests ('the lungs of the world' ) would convert the Sahara Desert into a wetland ! The onus of natural fecundity would always rest with the populace of the specific geography..

It seems businesses are running out of ideas. After failing miserably with some financial instruments, based on fictitious money in the recession of 2008, which I see as a superlative of greed (not profit, really) - they are on a lookout for a face-lift - so, the wool in the eyes is not cleared ! Yesterday it was - Product,Price, Promotion and Place. Today it's the innocuous 3 more - People, Planet and Profit. We got to sell, you know ! And among the howling noises of the activists(social, political, animal,environmental, gender etc. etc. ) who have got a new life of late, this would be given room, in all  likelihood..

It's about 'gas', no doubt..but why does it have to be 'all gas' !


        

The Walk..

Onwards into the horizon,
Where the sun of my hopes and dreams,
Rises every morning,
And shines on my life's streams.

Beautiful is the oasis,
From which I sip the nectar of life,
And rejoice my fortune,
Which is swelling ripe.

But somewhere I love misery too,
More than what it spells for me -
For I feel hungry on a full stomach,
Tired on a restful day,
Engrossed, when the mind is in disarray.

I marvel at the shadows, I befriend,
And the pain I feel at their loss !
And still sleep in anticipation of finding,
Something new, something dearly sought..