Pure

My little one heard a sermon a few days back. More on the lines that we all have an expiry date. Older people vacate earlier and the younger ones stay on for some more years.

She asked me - 'So you'll leave ?'. 

I said - 'No, not like how you think. There's a lot of time !'. 

'Well ! But you'll leave that means ?'

'In a way yes, but let's talk of something else...'

'You lied - I don't want to talk to you now !'

I'm struggling with life, how do I explain death to you - I thought as I wound up my cooking chores.

That was that.

And today, as I close in on to my little one, to pick her up in my arms and kiss her forehead, she cringes at my touch. I feel a twitch in my heart as she looks at me with complaints writ large on her face. Her sensitivity makes me gulp down lumps of emotion, as a rush of them brings tears to my eyes. It's a strange relationship I'm discovering with her. Wouldn't I love to live like this forever! But I know, my little one would
grow too, into a woman who would be a source of strength. And then she would know it all. For now I just happily snuggle the sleeping angel, before she writes me a loving epitaph..
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Inspired from a conversation.

Contradictions..

It's interesting. We are generally aware of our strengths and flaws, and perhaps those of people around. The fact remains that when we, with limited knowledge, are the frames of reference, the inferences are only relative or misconstrued..But then, it seems, we are programmed to draw them - to make some sense of this world !

Beside a personal or individual note - there are things which are prevalent and accepted facts, but delve deeper and you'd feel flummoxed at times. Laws are to ensure order and safety, but a closer look would unravel that they are meant for crime and for criminals, who break them. A rather symbiotic relationship between the two.  Police is meant for maintaining order - but its existence is relevant only when there's disorder. A doctor's profession of ensuring health, is relevant only when there is disease. An army is not needed when there is peace.Though that is the objective of having one in place. Talent - a personal, natural ability has no foundation without an audience and acceptance. There could be many more instances to exemplify.

We live in a world of bizarre contradictions. And a ricochet of such thoughts could keep one busy for a lifetime. Sometimes I feel that it's a concoction that has been given benign colors, which are otherwise the  dark schools of thought, that human mind is capable of. And it has been served down to generations - with not much of a rebellion. Or maybe its the fear that - 'If you knew that you would find a truth, That brings a pain that can't be soothed' (from the song - Change, Tracy Chapman) - that impresses upon us, to believe.

Not sure if it's an inherent lack of trust that is the cause of this fear, or despite knowing that we spend a short duration as a lifetime, our obsession with security- physical, mental and emotional, the reason !