Happy New Year !

                                       
                                          

In this form, a₁, a₂, …, a_n are the coefficients, x₁, x₂, …, x_n are the variables, and b is the constant. When dealing with three or fewer variables, it is common to replace x₁ with just x, x₂ with y, and x₃ with z, as appropriate.

Won't take up anything on algebra and disappoint an anticipating mind ! But this was just the right equation to sum up this year for me.  Year after year, it's b's struggle to balance itself out as a constant. That 'b' could be either of us. There are variables with varied proportionalities affecting his existence negatively or positively. Some just zeroing out and others in a hip-hop, zig-zag tandem, completing what you would call - the rhythm of life..

Most of these variables being people - learned, unlearned, burdened, unburdened and undergoing their own learning curves. Leaving 'b' with a feverish sense of self sometimes - which would for months give it sleepless nights interspersed with vomits of acid and numbness incomparable. And at others, a comforting warmth of a mother's protection of her infant.

There are the one's, self-assured of perfection, committing deeds comparable to any indistinguishable mortal. Not that I alienate myself but I was always a seeker - failing, faltering and succeeding. So I never knew the difference. But like every other non-conclusive year on 'knowing' things - this ends on a similar, though a very drawn out, melodramatic  note !

There have been some beautiful artifacts in terms of human goodness and softer emotions which I always treasured. Lot of it had been an object of mockery and misunderstanding, and it has taken a while for me to reconcile. No time is enough for people to understand you and vice-versa. And hence I don't see an end to conflicts. I had to assume some extremely familiar people as dead, pass them by like they were just apparitions - it was atrociously funny and it still is ! But if it's ordained this way - I can only concede because I live anyway..

Hoping there's something new in this New year.

Wish there are pleasant surprises which hold your breath time and again.That nature rocks you to sleep and eases you with caressing winds, which whisper lullabies into your ears when you're tired. And may it be the soft sun rays' that promise a peaceful, fruitful dawn that starts each of your day..

My greetings for this year. Wish you a very Happy 2012 :)

A trailer..

Sometimes your dreams come in compact packages !

It was a childhood fantasy to make a movie or at-least be a part of it. I got a taste of what it took to make one, in a hurried up morning till late night activity. It was sheer fun to discover the art and a lot of craft of making one. The Story, Screenplay, Acting, Direction, Cinematography and Editing, all happening under your nose, at an island-ish location..

Even though the product is rather run-of-the-mill, or great if you judge it as otherwise !  It's something that was consuming and enriching. I consider it as a trailer as I'm still quite greedy with what I really want :)

                            
        
Hope you like it !

On Marriage...

In the Indian context, I think this is one of the most talked about subject ! I don't get the reasons though. But now that I'm actually going through the process, popularly known as 'settling down', for quite a while now, I  can almost empathize with people, who go through the grind..

It can begin anytime during school, college, while in a job etc. And there is an upper age limit to it, mostly. Lower age limit, maybe yes - as formalization happens only after thresholds of manhood/womanhood are met. People taking an initiative towards this, are said to be in love and the others, like me, are caught unawares by the years passing by, until you start hitting the fateful numbers ! And then as your parents/relatives, find a 'suitable match' for you, you start creating 'the magic'.

It is evident from my posts that I travel quite a bit everyday - and a lot of this time is spent listening to various sounds, which put me to sleep or attune my mind to an abstract, tiring concentration.. The various sounds are the groan of my bus, hisses and hushed whispers of lovers and fiances, catching up after a days' work (somehow married people prefer to sleep ! :D ), chitchats of friends, some music if I have my earphones on, horns of vehicles whizzing by and some noise of crowd outside..


I could be an outlier, or at-least, I feel like one ! But I've very earnestly tried to understand and contemplate the importance such institutions...and the way people perceive them to be. There's a huge difference between love and sexual love. Between friends and boy/girl-friends ! Love and friends look dispensable..'true love' doesn't ! So much so, that as if to highlight an object as fairer/lighter, you paint it's background darker, grosser - to vindicate your stand for a person, you would highlight the imperfections of the world around you..especially when your lives are not congruent..And this has not been my isolated experience, with one person. But again, these views could be partisan..

Another interesting attitudinal change I observe as people get into a 'relationship' (like others are not), is a heightened sense of insecurity..maybe it's to do with a perceived lack of sexual freedom- that the little that we have is worth guarding from everything inauspicious. But what beats me is, that people who are not into one, are generally taken to be indulging in a sort of 'voyeurism', even when the exhibits are in public spaces...and are mostly confined to dropping hints to partners.

Similarly, for a youth, passion, care and concern are more ascribed to man/woman love than a platonic association.In recent times, in fact, a deep platonic association is read as an 'abnormality' by many !

When if you look at it from my perspective, I feel almost floundering in the dark when it comes to such matters.My sense of practical wisdom had not been taken kindly by many, though time stood by me, and lately, it's also been understood as a trickery..and I'm bemused to the core of my being..

All said and done, I think people would need people beside them always. Marriages(love and otherwise) tend to give a longevity to such associations. In the end if it makes you feel anchored someway, it must be good :)